跟 vs 对 (gēn vs duì): “with” vs “to/at”
Both 跟 (gēn) and 对 (duì) can introduce the person being spoken to, but they carry different interactional nuances. 跟 implies a mutual or interactive relationship (e.g., talking with someone), while 对 indicates a one-directional action or attitude (e.g., saying something to someone or treating them in a certain way). Choosing the right coverb depends on whether the action is reciprocal or directed.
The coverbs 跟 and 对 both link a person to an action, but they differ in directionality. 跟 marks a participant in an interactive or reciprocal action (e.g., talking, discussing, cooperating), implying a two-way exchange even if the verb itself is not necessarily mutual. 对 marks the target or recipient of a one-directional action (e.g., speaking to, smiling at, being kind to) and is also used to express attitudes or feelings toward someone. A simple test: if the action can be done without the other person responding, 对 is likely correct; if the action inherently involves the other person’s participation, use 跟.
When to use each
Use 跟 to introduce a person who is participating in a mutual or reciprocal action. It is common with verbs like 说 (talk), 讨论 (discuss), 商量 (consult), 争论 (argue), and 打招呼 (greet). It implies that the action is shared or interactive, even if the verb describes a one-way speech act (e.g., 跟他说声谢谢 'say thanks to him' is still seen as interactive).
跟 can also mean 'to follow', but as a coverb it always signals a relationship between two parties in an action. In informal speech, 跟 is interchangeable with 和 when indicating 'with', but 和 is more common for simple accompaniment.
Use 对 to indicate the target or recipient of a one-directional action or attitude. It is common with verbs like 说 (say), 做 (do), 笑 (smile), 喊 (shout), and especially with expressions of feeling or evaluation (e.g., 对我好 'be good to me', 对她不公平 'unfair to her'). 对 emphasizes that the action is directed from the subject toward the object, without necessarily implying a mutual exchange.
对 also has other meanings ('correct', 'toward a place'), but in interaction contexts it always marks a directional relationship. When used with 说, 对 sounds more formal or one-sided than 跟; for example, 对他说 means 'say to him' as a statement, whereas 跟他说 can mean 'talk with him' or simply 'tell him' in a conversational tone.
At a glance
| 跟 | 对 | |
|---|---|---|
| Nature of action | Interactive/mutual | One-directional/directed |
| Directionality | Two-way (implied reciprocity) | One-way (from subject to object) |
| Typical verbs | 说, 讨论, 商量, 争论, 打招呼, 合作 | 说, 笑, 喊, 做, 好, 不好, 公平, 不公平 |
| Attitude/emotion expression | Not used for emotions toward someone (e.g., 跟她生气 ✗) | Common for attitudes: 对她好, 对我生气, 对我不满 |
| Negation | 不跟他说话 (not speak with him) | 不对他说谎 (not lie to him) |
Examples
- 跟他正在跟我讨论这个问题。Tā zhèngzài gēn wǒ tǎolùn zhège wèntí.He is discussing this problem with me.讨论 (discuss) is inherently mutual; 跟 is used to indicate the participant.
- 对他对我说了一句话。Tā duì wǒ shuō le yī jù huà.He said a sentence to me.Here 说 is a one-directional statement; 对 marks the recipient.
- 跟别跟陌生人随便说话。Bié gēn mòshēngrén suíbiàn shuōhuà.Don’t casually talk with strangers.说话 (talk) normally implies two-way communication; 跟 is natural.
- 对她对我笑了笑。Tā duì wǒ xiào le xiào.She smiled at me.Smiling is a one-directional facial expression; 对 is correct.
- 跟老师跟学生一起解决问题。Lǎoshī gēn xuéshēng yīqǐ jiějué wèntí.The teacher solves problems together with the students.一起 (together) and 解决 (solve) imply collaboration; 跟 shows joint participation.
- 对他对这件事很负责。Tā duì zhè jiàn shì hěn fùzé.He is very responsible toward this matter.When expressing attitude toward a thing (not person), 对 is required.
Common mistakes
- Using 对 for interactive actions like 'discuss with' (✗ 我对你讨论这个 → 我跟你讨论这个).
- Using 跟 for one-directional attitudes like 'be kind to' (✗ 她跟我很好 → 她对我很好).
- Using 对 for 'talk with' when the context implies mutual exchange (✗ 我对朋友说话 when meaning 'chat with a friend' → 我跟朋友说话 is more natural).
- Confusing 跟 and 对 when the verb is 说: 跟他说 often means 'tell him (in conversation)', while 对他说 means 'say to him (as a statement)' — using the wrong one may sound odd in context.
FAQ
- When do I use 跟 vs 对 with the verb 说 (shuō)?
- Both are possible but carry different nuances. 跟他说 implies an interactive conversation or a casual 'tell him'; 对他说 indicates a more formal, one-directional statement, such as delivering news or giving a speech. If you expect a reply, use 跟; if you are simply stating something, use 对.
- Can 对 be used for mutual actions like 'discuss'?
- No, 对 marks a one-directional target; for mutual actions like discuss (讨论), argue (争论), or cooperate (合作), use 跟 (or 和). 对 would imply that the action is directed at the person but not reciprocated, which is incorrect for interactive verbs.
- How do I express 'be good to someone' or 'be angry at someone'?
- Use 对 (duì) to express attitudes or feelings toward a person. For example, 她对我很好 (she is good to me), 他对我不高兴 (he is unhappy with me). Using 跟 in these cases is incorrect because the action is one-directional.
- Is 跟 always interchangeable with 和 as 'with'?
- In many interactive contexts, yes, 跟 can replace 和 (hé) to mean 'with'. However, 和 is more neutral and common for simple accompaniment (e.g., 我和你去 'I go with you'), while 跟 has a slightly stronger sense of active participation or interaction (e.g., 我跟你讨论 'I discuss with you'). Also, 和 cannot be used for attitudes (对 is required), so they are not fully interchangeable.